The Confidence Coach: Take control of your life and wellbeing by Lisa Phillips

Author:Lisa Phillips
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Exisle Publishing Limited
Published: 2015-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

AMANDA

Amanda had been working on her confidence muscle for several weeks when I suggested that she started to praise herself each time she looked in the mirror. ‘No way!’ she exclaimed. ‘What have I done to deserve my own praise?’ I then discussed with Amanda what she felt she needed to achieve before she felt worthy of her own praise. ‘Oh,’ she said, ‘something big, like passing my driving test or an exam.’

Can you see how the way Amanda had set herself up made it very difficult for her to praise herself? She needed to do something totally amazing for her to say a kind word about herself.

I then shared with Amanda the achievements that I had praised myself for that same morning. They included the following:

• I got out of bed on time.

• I brushed my teeth and had a shower.

• I cooked myself a healthy breakfast.

• I said my affirmations.

• I placed my dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

Amanda was shocked that I praised myself for getting out of bed. ‘Why not’, I said — ‘I deserve my own praise. I like myself!’

Here is what Amanda said after doing this action step for a couple of weeks:

‘I really didn’t want to do this exercise. It felt stupid praising myself for just cleaning my teeth or having a shower. I wasn’t happy about doing it. Then, after about a week, I realized how nice it felt to be congratulating myself and I was starting to feel I deserved it. A month on, I am happy to do this exercise because it really has had a positive impact on how I feel about myself.’

There are hundreds of other things you can do in order to start to like yourself a little bit more. Here are a few additional action steps that you may wish to try:

• Look in the mirror and affirm, ‘It would be nice if I could be kinder to myself. ’

• Ask five close friends for a list of what they like about you and write the answers in your love journal.

• Each day, choose to do one thing that is kind and nurturing for yourself rather than for other people.

• Make a list of twenty things that make you happy, and try to do at least one a day.

• Take some time out to relax and rewind even if it is for only ten minutes a day.

TOP TIPS TO LIKING YOURSELF

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